Zzzz... Zzz...

भुकम्पको डरमा 
एउटा चिसो सुकुलको भरमा
अध्यारो रात मा कठ्याङ्ग्रिदै
टाँगेको पालमा पनि निदायो मेरो देश|
नेता हरुले पुर्याएको
बेवारिसे तालमा पनि निदायो मेरो देश |
बाढी पहिरो
केहि ले रोक्न सकेन
हावा हुरी कसैले टोक्न सकेन
पछारियो आफै जब आफ्नो भार
आफै ले बोक्न सकेन
तर पनि बढी रह्यो
संयौ चोटी लडीरह्यो
भोक प्यास गुमाए पनि
निन्द्रा भने  चै त्याग्न सकेनछ यो देश ले
तेसैले त सधै निदईराख्छ
शत्रु ले आखा गाढ्दा पनि निदाउछ
आफ्नै ले भाग लगाई बाढ्दा पनि निदाउछ
डर लाग्छ
कुनै दिन कैले नउठ्ने गरि निदाउने पो हो कि ?

DECEMBER....

It doesn't snow here,
but what does it cost to imagine?.

I sit down on my chair
with a novel in  front of me
a cup of hot black coffee
and my eyes staring out the window
to the white wonderland.
Yes, i do wanna complete the novel
but at the same time i don't wanna finish it.
I do wanna drink that cup of coffee
but it won't keep me warm for much long
and I'm too lazy to get up and make myself another cup.
December got me on my power saving mode.

I think i shall read this novel some other day.
The outside world seems more amazing
more beautiful
more wonderful than the world, these pages hold.
I'm gonna go take a walk,
into the world of fantasy.
Its too cold outside
I'm gonna need a warm jacket
a pair of gloves
a hat
and a pair of socks.
Aah, now it feels warm and cozy.
Oh! i almost forgot about that coffee i had
A quick sip from the cup and I'm good to go.

As i step out from the door
the first thing i see is snow
and as far as my eyes can gaze into the thick foggy mist
all i see is heaps of whites getting blur as the distance increases.
There's snow everywhere.
The snow doesn't feel cold though,
well it does freeze my fingers the moment i touch it
it does make me shiver
but deep inside
there is a warmth
i feel as if i have the sun right inside my heart
radiating the heat
keeping me warm
and making me able to withstand the cold.
I always thought that way,
i have a sun in my heart.
A sun hot enough to keep me warm,
but yet not too hot to burn me.

Embraced by the warmth of this sun
i walk ahead
into the world of snow.
With every steps i take
i smile a little more.
With every distance i cover
the snow feels a less colder.
I feel as if i was moving towards the warmth that a certain someone radiated.
I keep walking
and walking
and walking until i reach this sun.
And when my feet stop
and i lift my head up too look
I see the sun right in front of my eyes,
this sun is bright enough to amaze me
brighter than that big ball of fire floating in the sky
yet gentle enough not to blind me.
This sun isn't a big ball of fire
but something that lived, existed and was a living being .
And as i slowly turn my eyes to get a look of this sun,
I see it different.
This sun wouldn't burn me even if i hugged,
And i do so.
And then I'm walking again
but this time, not alone.
but with the sun.
And it tells me, "the snow looks beautiful, doesn't it ? "
I have no answer 'cause i was looking at something a billion times more beautiful.
i was just looking at it.
i don't know what i was supposed to answer.
All i say is .
It doesn't snow here, right?
but what does it cost to imagine? :)

White earphones.

Talking about me,
I'd be the one probably busy in my own world
not giving a shit about what others think.
You can see me crying
and then you can see me smiling in a blink.
I'm probably the one not giving a shit about how life goes on.
Want to find me in a crowd?
I'm probably the guy with the white earphones on.
I'm a freak, one of a kind.
Someone like me?
I bet even Adele won't find.
I'm the guy whose greatest weakness is chocolate,
if I was made of it then I'd probably eat myself.
I'm the one so much obsessed with Taylor swift songs.
Want to find me in a crowd?
I'm probably the guy with the white earphones on.
I'm the kinda guy
who drinks his own tears and stands out strong.
I'm the one faking a huge smile
even though I know it's not for long.
I'm the one who can memorize lyrics in a minute.
I've been reading my text book for hours,
still have no idea what's in it.
I'm the guy who'll make his own words burn.
Want to find me in a crowd?
I'm probably the guy with the white earphones on......

THAT SATURDAY NIGHT...

Like any other Saturday night,

she knew that her husband would come back home drunk

she knew that her husband would forget bringing her the medicines she needed.

she knew after hours of fight

he would convince her somehow

then fuck her 

till he could fuck no more.

His mouth would be stinking like a devil's trashcan

but yet she would have no other choice than to kiss him and pretend that she felt good,

even though she didn't.

Like any other Saturday night,

he did come home late.

like any other Saturday night

he was drunk as hell. 

She heard him saying shit and other stuffs about her.

she ran to get the door

because she knew he would beat the shit out of her

if he had to knock and keep waiting outside for the door to open.

When she opened the door,

there he was

the man claimed to be her husband

shaking like the Eiffel tower from an earthquake

She knew he'd been with another woman

she could smell the scent of perfume that wasn't his.

And yet,

she smiled.

her husband went straight to the bedroom

she followed him quietly.

she knew her husband was hungry and thirsty too

but his hunger wasn't gonna disappear from the dinner she'd served downstairs

his thirst wasn't gonna disappear from the bottle of water she'd kept beside the bed.

He wanted her

though she'd been ill for quite some days now.

he wanted her 

even though she couldn't sustain the pain of his so called manhood piercing her.

She let him have her.

She stayed motionless,

tears rolling down from her eyes 

her heart bleeding

she didn't say a word

she cried silent tears.

All she thought about was her three years old daughter sleeping peacefully

all she thought about was taking the medicines she was supposed to 

all she thought about was its been three days since the last dose of her medicine was finished

all she thought about was how her husband never really thought about it.

she kept thinking 

he kept piercing her.

She let a huge scream out her mouth

and then there was complete silent again

her husband fell asleep right beside her.

her scream woke her daughter up

her daughter kept crying 

she was just 3

She woke up and she was hungry

She kept crying 

her mother didn't hear

she finally managed to crawl to her mother

she sucked the nipple of her mother that her father left exposed

it was cold

she sucked the nipple maybe for a minute or two

but yet it felt to her like eternity

she kept sucking the nipple of her dead mother

but nothing happened

her mother was already as far as she could ever be

her mother was dead and in an hour so was she.

A Legal Rape

She never wanted to marry that guy
She never wanted to spend the rest of her life with that devil
She never wanted to...
But she had to.
He'd been following her since the very first day he saw her
In every streets
Every bus stops
She had to hide from him but he always managed somehow to find her in the crowd
He didn't love her
He just wanted her
He promised her father to pay all his debts and he sold her to him.
She had to marry him
She was hugged
She was kissed
She was fucked
But she was never loved
She had two kids but the kids never got the love of a father
He wasn't a father to them
Just a man who's been fucking their mother everynight.
Nobody knew what happened inside that house
Everybody thought a couple lived there happily with two beautiful kids.
Nobody saw the pain in her eyes.
Nobody knew that the kids never got the love of a father
They just thought he married that girl because he loved him
But nobody knew the truth
The truth was out of their sight
Nobody was there to wipe those tears off her face
when she was raped, legally, every night.